Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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