I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
