don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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