just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
