I skipped work to stalk him.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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