He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize