summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I just had sex on a roof
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
