Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
