it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
