i barfeds in our rink
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
