I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
Randomize
