Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
