this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
