I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
