its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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