I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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