guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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