is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Randomize
