I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
