Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
