I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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