Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
But theres a keg here and me gusta
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
