do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Randomize
