Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
