we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
