ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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