so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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