Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
