From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize