Well douche your snatch and let's go!
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
