I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
