I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
