he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
