thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
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