You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
