He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
