So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
