im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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