The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
