I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
