we have officially lost it.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
