Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
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