dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
