Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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