I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
