your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
