It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
