no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
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