she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize