my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Randomize
