How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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