I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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