Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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