I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
