There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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