I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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