I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
