I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
