Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Randomize
