did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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