are you still at the devil's house?
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
